


The One That Got Away

by Softrockandshowtunesgirlscout22



Category: Holby City
Genre: AU, Based on a line from ep 13 series 22, F/M, Jac and Kian, Jac and Kian bantering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Softrockandshowtunesgirlscout22/pseuds/Softrockandshowtunesgirlscout22
Summary: Kian Madani and Jac Naylor are the most unlikely match, but sometimes opposites attract. A what if look at what Jac and Kian’s life would have turned out to be if they had ended up together in uni.  Inspired by episode 13 of series 22 and by Jac’s line: “I don’t know maybe if I had ended up with you I wouldn’t be fighting for custody of my own daughter.”Jac and Kian goodness and family fluff. Written with my friend Charlotte, who is my partner in crime, regarding everything Kian Madani and Ramin Karimloo.
Relationships: Adrian "Fletch" Fletcher/Jac Naylor, Emma Naylor/Jac Naylor, Jac Naylor/Kian Madani, Jac Naylor/Original Character, Kian Madani /Adrian Fletcher
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... this is a first one for us, a fanfic in the Holby fandom but since watching ep 13 of series 22 and seeing all the Kian and Jac flirting, we couldn't help ourselves to a what if fic. We hope our characters aren't too OC. We figured Jac would be a little different with having been with Kian for so long but still keep being Jac Naylor.  
> Anyways, there's a lot of bantering, drama and fluff. 
> 
> Inspired by episode 13 of series 22 and by Jac’s line: “I don’t know maybe if I had ended up with you I wouldn’t be fighting for custody of my own daughter.”
> 
> Written with my friend Charlotte while we try to get through quarantine's lack of Holby.  
> Stay safe everyone!

The house was silent as if it was the calm before the storm, something Kian Madani had become accustomed to with working at Darwin and his own homelife. Both he and Jac had the day off so it would only be a matter of time before, even though he didn’t have to go into work, a routine would have to start, because that was the way things worked in the Madani household. 

Even on a Sunday. 

He usually began working on breakfast, because, Jac, brilliant surgeon and a surprise to all, love of his life, mother of his children, couldn’t really cook. She said she had more important things to focus on, so the domesticity, fell on him mostly. 

But since he had known Jac back in uni as 18 year olds, things had certainly changed for them both. 

First off, because Jac Naylor had decided to look his way, man, he didn’t know exactly how that had happened, or why, but he counted his blessings. So far, there were four, her and three beautiful children they shared. 

Three kids? Hard to believe Jac had agreed to even having one and yet it seemed his children were the only people who had managed to melt the Ice Queen’s heart.

That’s what he used to call her during uni, not that he’d ever admit it to her. He’d be a dead man if she found out. 

Kian had yet to open his eyes but he knew Jac was already up and doing something, even if it was a rare day off, she could never stay still. He turned his body around on the bed and noticed, that yes, her side was cold already. Leaving his warm bed and bedroom, he followed the voices heard down the hall. The apartment they lived in tended to carry voices, Jac had said she refused to live in a house with a yard, an apartment seemed to be the safest place to live in and closest to work and reluctantly, Kian had to agree. Their children spent way too much time with their nanny and they needed to be close by in case they were needed by either party, and plus, they appreciated that they could walk to work an back.

It was practical. 

“Did not!” 

“Did too!” 

Kian arrived at the kitchen in the middle of an argument between JJ and Kayden, which usually ended up in who was right and who was wrong, Jac was not in sight but she would be soon if they kept arguing. 

A glare from their mother could do wonders. JJ was the eldest, who had just turned 12 and seemed to be one step closer to adolescence, which worried Kian because he had given his parents enough trouble to count and he was sure that was going to haunt him back now that his kids were getting older, Kayden was stuck in the middle at age nine, he was a sweet natured child, but could also hold himself against JJ if he needed to. 

Finally, there was Emma, who was also nowhere to be found, his sweet almost 6 year old, the baby of the family and the only girl, a deadly combination as far as Kian was concerned, Emma was the one who took most after Jac and the boys were mostly like him, looks and all. 

“Guys, what is going on? And why this early in the morning?” Kian said, grabbing a cup and pouring some coffee. 

“He messed up with my game, I was already almost finished with level 10!” JJ said. His voice a little higher than he should have because Kian grimaced. “I’ve told him not to touch my things…” 

Kayden made an argument about how he swore he had not touched it and Kian tried to listen to both their sides. “Okay, Kay, buddy, please stop making your brother suffer, don’t you see he already spends too much time on that game?” 

JJ gave his father a look. “And you, can’t you just reset it?” 

“That’s not the point, Dad, he…” 

The sound of steps made JJ freeze in his tracks. Emma was first as she greeted her father happily and then turned to look at her brothers as if she knew they were in trouble. 

And in trouble they were, because a moment later, Jac walked into the room, expecting an explanation. 

“Can’t there be just one moment when this house doesn’t have screaming?”

“But, Mom..!”

“But nothing. Who started this morning’s shouting match then?”

Both the boys looked at each other, refusing to admit defeat. When Jac received no answer she passed a glance up at Kian, with the signature ‘ice queen glare’ from days gone by. “Well?”

Kian gave the boys a moment longer to own up. “From what I heard… Kayden here took JJ’s game and messed with it. How he exactly did that I don’t know… What’s the rule buddy, with your things, huh?”

JJ pouted. “If I don’t want them played with…” Kian joined in to complete the lesson. “Don’t leave them in reach of your brother or sister.”

Jac gave a passing smile as she took Emma and sat her at the table. Kian walked to the other side of the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee for Jac. She wasn’t usually a coffee drinker, but with a shouting match already putting her at wits end, today was an exception. 

“Now… Breakfast. What does everybody want. Quick fire answers, majority wins it.” He pointed finger guns at each of his family members.

“Toast!” Kayden beamed. He was easy going, generally ate whatever was on his plate. Emma seconded the call for toast, being at the age where she mimicked her older siblings (even if it did cause many more shouting matches than what was normal for the Madani household).

“Pancakes!” JJ said, head in his game still, until Jac swiped it from his hands. 

“What have we told you about playing that game so much, Jack. You’ll get headaches,” Jac scolded her eldest. And the boy rolled his eyes at the use of his actual name. 

“Down to you, Jac, what do you want? Do you want to join the pancake party with JJ and me, hm?” Kian gave a wide smile. “Come on… it’s your day off. Those are rare, you know that. Bit of fun never harmed anybody…” 

After a few moments ‘pretty pleasing’ she gave in. “All right, fine. I’ll join the pancake party.”

Kian, being the partial child he was whooped a noise of joy, giving JJ a mighty high five as he began to organise the ingredients to make the family's breakfast, and in what seemed like no time at all, each family member had their own stack of pancake goodness, with toppings of their own choosing. 

Emma had gone simple, with just a smiley syrup face on the top of her stack. Kayden took the sugar bowl and crumbled cubes on top of his. Both JJ and Kian piled theirs high with syrup and whipped cream, whereas Jac opted for a more healthy approach with a few banana slices. No sugar, no syrup, just a simple fruit topping.

“Oh come on, Jac… lighten up a little. Put a bit of sweetness on there.” Kian managed to get out, with a mouthful of whipped cream and pancakes. He reached for the whipped cream can and shook it, “Just one little bit of cream, go on…”

His finger was placed on the button. 

“Put one squirt of that cream on my plate and you’ll never hear the end of it, Madani,” Jac warned. But Kian could not help himself one bit. He gave her his usual trademark smirk and it was now a match between both surgeons, the tension could be cut with a knife, until it was actually interrupted by a call from Jac’s phone. 

The rule ‘no phone at the table’ didn’t really applied for two people in their position at the hospital, but Kian prayed she wouldn’t have to be called in. “I’ll be back and there better be nothing new on my plate when I do.” She told Kian as she turned her back and answered the call down in the office, taking JJ’s game with her, Kian then told the kids to eat their breakfast. Jac came back a moment later, her stance had changed. She glanced at Kian and he asked the kids to continue eating as he followed her back to their joint office. He closed the door behind her. 

“I just got a call from Fletch, it’s Haller.” Kian’s face fell. It was only a matter of time before they lost their old uni teacher, he’d been struggling with pneumonia for weeks now. He’d come to Darwin because he knew Jac and Kian worked there. 

“Do you want to get over there? I can stay with the kids.” Kian offered. Jac waved her head but he could see the hesitation in her face. 

“We haven’t had a day off in so long and even though it has started the way it did…” She rolled her eyes and he smiled. “I will go but not right now..:.” 

“You are worried about him Jac, the kids will understand.” 

Jac glared at him, taking a sit at the chair by the desk. “They are always the ones that have to understand Kian, why do you think they argue over a silly game if not for attention?” 

“Siblings fight, it’s normal…” Kian said, his voice low but comforting as he reached for her hand, his fingers over her knuckles. . “Hey, no we don’t get to question our parenting right now okay? It’s too early in the day to get into that.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yes.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “Jac, look at me, breathe.” He pulled her close when she looked at him and his lips were on hers a moment later, he kissed her softly, he usually did to calm her down when she was freaking out about a case or the kids, or… 

“Better?” He whispered into her lips. He tasted of whipped cream and just every other unhealthy thing he’d decided to put on his pancakes. “Come on, at least let’s finish breakfast, yeah?” 

“Do you have to go to work Mommy?” Emma was the first to notice them coming back. Neither kid had moved from their seat and their parent’s breakfast remained untouched but was cold by that point, although the kids had managed to put over another plate to cover it over. 

“Not right now, no.” Jac said smiling and sitting back at the table beside Emma. Kian glanced at his wife. No matter just how hard their day or job got, Kian knew one thing, Jac had learned, that even in the worst of times, their family would be the most important thing. 

* * *

By late afternoon, after the children had done their chores and schoolwork for the next day, and had gone out to have a bike ride to the park near their building, they had settled on a movie, Kian sitting in between both brothers to prevent any arguing over popcorn while Emma cuddled against Jac, although separated by each child, Kian had managed to reach out from behind to touch Jac’s hand with his own, sharing a look. Kian had come to know that even though their marriage had their struggles as most had, it was moments like this that made it all worth it. 

Later, as they settled the kids for bed, Jac was picking up the last of the laundry she was meant to be doing from the boy's room when JJ, who had not asked for his game for almost an entire day, gave it a shot. 

“Mom?” She turned to look at him. “What are the chances I might get my game back?” 

“Right now? Rather slim…” She gave in a small sigh. “You didn’t need it today did you? You had a good time without it?” Jac was now sitting on the bed. 

“Yeah, but..” 

“You can live without it for a few more days then, if you can prove to me that you and Kayden can get along better, even if it’s for 48 hours, we’ll have a talk about you having the thing back.” 

JJ didn’t say anything, he knew it was a losing battle. kayden soon came into the room as his brother glared at him, and of course Jac noticed. “Off to bed the two of you, come on.” She said as she tucked them both in. 

“I know you might not like me much right now, but I love you JJ.” 

JJ managed a smile that mirrored Kian’s. “I love you too Mom, and I still like you don’t worry..” 

“Well isn’t that a relief…” She then turned to Kayden’s bed.” And you, best keep out of your brother’s things, next time, alright? And I still haven’t heard an apology from either of you..” 

Kayden glanced over at JJ. “Sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too.” 

“Good,now, let that sink in for the night and we’ll talk tomorrow, alright? Good night boys.” After they had said their goodbyes, Jac then went to check on Emma, she had an earlier bedtime than her brothers so she was sound asleep thanks to a long overdue story by Kian. 

“I told you this would be trouble. You shouldn’t have bought it.” Jac said as soon as she came into the main bedroom where Kian was changing into his pajamas and waved the blasted game until she locked it in a drawer. 

“We both agreed it would be his birthday present, didn’t we?” 

“Only because you insisted.” Jac countered back. 

“He’s growing up Jac, he’s going to start wanting other things than toys, plus he’s keeping his grades up…” 

“And getting into silly arguments…” 

“Well…” Kian said, getting closer to her. “That’s not new, and I have a feeling it will only be getting worse, specially with adolescense.” Jac rolled her eyes at him. 

“This is all your fault…” 

“Huh?” 

“For getting me pregnant in the first place…” Jac said, a little more playfully now, she could see Kian was planning his next move which was to kiss her cheek. 

“Well Naylor, as I seem to remember correctly.” Kiss. “You participated too.” Kiss. “And eagerly if I might add.” 

“Shut up…” She closed the space between them, her lips going toward his as they engaged in a playful make out session, until Jac pushed Kian back at the sound of her phone, which was on the nightstand, she rolled herself off him to get it. “I have to go in and check on Haller. You’ll stay?” 

Kian groaned. “Yeah, I...I got it.” She pushed him back playfully and he ended up on his back on the bed, letting out a loud sigh as she headed to the bathroom to clean herself up. 

About 10 minutes later, she was ready and he was standing by the door. “I’ll call you alright? What time do you have work tomorrow?” 

“Nine, gives me time to drop off the kids at school.”

“I like the way you think Madani.” She told him, warm heartedly. “I’ll see you at nine tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Hey Jac…” She turned around to look at him. 

“I love you too Kian.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Jac really didn’t like leaving Kian at home with the kids - truth is, he wasn’t the type of dad who would really say no to anything. She wouldn’t be surprised if the kids had woken up and were staying awake past their bedtime tonight, because in Kian’s head, ten more minutes meant an hour.

But Kian was a good dad and Jac was a good mom, and there was no faulting their skills as parents. Jac was the stricter parent, not too harsh, but it wasn’t like she didn’t let the kids get away with murder. She just controlled them, made sure they were going to grow up to be good kids. Kian...On the flip side, was very much cool and collected, liked to let the kids have freedom - a bit too much in Jac’s eyes, but, if it helped them to grow up into being good, then she didn’t mind what they did, just as long as it was in moderation.

However it was only going to be for a short while, just through the night, and since Emma started sleeping through nights fully, there weren’t so many moments when Kian or Jac were waking up to put her back to bed. 

I think they both agreed that there would be no more kids, because they couldn’t go through any more early wake ups, even if JJ and Kayden were getting older and could technically look after their potentially youngest sibling. But their jobs just wouldn’t let them be able to go through that for a fourth time.

For now though, Jac had more important things to worry about than Kian being at home with their (hopefully) sleeping children. 

“Which cubicle is Haller in?” Jac asked, turning the corner into the Darwin nurses station. One of the nurses pointed in the direction as she went on her regular route to finish her rounds and Jac went ahead, finding Haller hooked up to all machines, an oxygen mask around his neck.

“What has gotten into you,” Jac asked. “Pneumonia? How long have you been like this…” she said to herself, reading through his bedside notes. “Too long, it seems…”

For pneumonia, there wasn’t really anything they could do, which was a shame. But there was still a way to help treat the illness. It wasn’t a way to rush to theatre, but they could do enough at the bedside to ease some of the pain, to try and clear the chest and lungs of any fluid. She stared at the man in the bed, memories of a younger Mr. Haller and a younger version of both her and Kian washed over her. 

Memories of two young aspiring doctors, Jac had given grief to Kian all those years ago, but the fact that he was a exchange student who had left everything to decide and come study so far away spoke of great bravery, not that she would have admitted that to him back then. 

* * *

Kian was trying to go through some surgical notes in bed when he heard small steps by the door. “Daddy… where’s Mommy?” Emma bless her heart, she looked at him holding onto her teddy for dear life, eyes tired but curious.

“She had to go into work Em.” He had now stood up and was picking the little girl up. “What’s wrong baby? Let’s get you back to your room okay?” 

“When is Mommy coming back?” 

“She’s going to spend the night at the hospital.” Kian said as he walked down the hall, with Emma wrapping her arms around his neck, her small face nuzzled against him. “But you’ll see her tomorrow after school okay?” 

“Can’t I stay with you?” Emma said in a low voice. Kian looked at her face and all he saw was Jac. “Please Daddy…” 

“No, Em, you need to sleep in your own bed, like a big girl, but tell you what? I can stay with you until you fall back to sleep, how about that?” Emma hesitated with the offer a bit. They had now reached her room. “Here.” He tucked her back in gently, sitting beside her on the bed as he settled her teddy next to the pillow. 

“Daddy?” 

“Hmmm..” 

“Will you sing me something?” Kian couldn’t fight those pleading eyes. Just like Jac's, they meant a losing battle. 

“Of course, but then, you have to sleep, alright?” He said and Emma nodded, cuddling against her teddy as Kian settled the best he could in her bed and began to hum something. 

Minutes later he’d won and Emma was asleep once more. 

* * *

“Miss Naylor, you asked for me?” Nicky said, Jac took the chart from her and turned back to her teacher. That morning he’d finally been awake for more than an hour. 

“Naylor?” Haller spoke through his mask. “Shouldn’t it be Madani?” 

“Not at work is not.” Jac said firmly. 

“Too confusing.” Nicky said, instantly regretting her words because Jac had given her a look. “Okay, I’m going to go then.” 

“How is Kian?” Mr Haller said tiredly, he tried taking off his mask but Jac held it in place. 

“He’s fine, hasn’t changed much since you last saw him.” Jac said, again looking at the chart. “Still annoying as hell.” 

“And yet you married him, so he can’t be that bad.” Mr. Haller said. Jac rolled her eyes at him. 

“I need to go do rounds, I’ll be back to check on you, but the mask stays on, you hear me?” Her teacher coughed as he took in a breath and Jac’s heart constricted a little in her chest. 

Hearing that Haller had been admitted, Kian’s first thing on his mind, before even checking the electives list or the days theatre slots, was to check on him. He was a key link in getting him and Jac together, so it was key to see him. 

“Mr Haller…” Kian smiled as he turned the corner into his room, picking up his chart. “Struggling with pneumonia, hourly obs…” He signed off the relevant information and put the chart back on the side of the bed. 

“Mr Madani,” Haller said, muffled through his mask. “And how are we since we last saw each other… well...20 years ago?”

“Well, I’m very sure you’re aware that Jac and I got married.”

“I am aware. I saw your Jac last night, actually. We didn’t talk much- she’s not much of a talker even now is she?”

“She’s focused on her work. Always has been, you know that.” Kian quipped. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, though.” He smiled shortly. “Besides, she’s a beautiful mother.”

“You have children now?” Haller asked. 

“Indeed, three, actually.” Kian reached inside his pocket and took his phone out, showing him the lock screen. “That’s JJ, my eldest, Kayden, and Emma, my youngest.” He beamed and let Haller hold it to get a closer look.

“Ah...such lovely children,” Haller smiled. “I’ll have to meet them one day,” he added. Haller handed the phone back and coughed, almost harder than any usual cough that he had given since he was admitted. 

Kian looked at him and glanced at his observation screen. “We’re good, we are good, your sats are okay. Deep breaths, alright,” he reassured his old teacher, watching as he returned back to usual composure. “Now, Mr Haller. I have rounds to do. Don’t go too far, and I’ll be back to check on you later.”

After his rounds, Kian walked into the office he shared with Jac. It was part of Jac’s healthy eating at work regime to keep a fruit bowl in their office. He chose an apple today, rubbing it on his trouser leg and sitting at one of the desks, catching up on emails and paperwork. He tried not to do paperwork outside of work, he needed his family time just as much as everyone else.

He finished off eating the apple and tossed it into the rubbish bin on the other side of the room as the door opened. “Last I remembered you qualified as a doctor, not the Canadian basketball team…” Jac revealed herself to the room and she grinned. “I have got to teach you how to use your legs to put your rubbish in the bin.”

“But where’s the fun in that? Sometimes...you’re just, so delved in into your work, that you can’t leave your desk. Besides, I have never missed a shot, not once.” Kian laughed and stood up from his desk, crossing the room and giving Jac a short kiss to her cheek. “How has your shift been so far?” 

“It’s been fine, the usual. Uneventful… slightly boring, actually. I like the busy side to my shifts.” Jac complained. 

“You always were the demanding one, weren’t you,” Kian said. “Even in your residency days, if there wasn’t something going on with us you were always trying to get onto somebody else’s case to be the quick diagnostician.” He walked to the centre of the room and sat on the sofa. “Such good memories. Back then you wouldn’t even have thought about your future with me. I bet you didn’t expect 15 years later you’d be married to me and with three beautiful children, no less.” He kicked his legs up and laid back, reminiscing.

“Kian, you have been here less than an hour. If anybody should be laying down on that sofa right now, it’s me.”

“Well, you are more than welcome to join me,” Kian said back in a quick reply. “You of all people should know that,” he smirked.

“That happened _one_ time. And it won’t happen again if you keep that up.”

“Ah come on Jac… You have had a long shift, and you are entitled to your break, come take it. I don’t want you burning out again. Please…” Kian softened his eyes and held his hand out. “I know Haller is here, and it’s stressing you out but you have got to not let it get to you too much.”

Jac took Kian’s proffered hand and sat down on the edge of the sofa. “I know, I know.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I just…” she trailed off in thought. “Never thought I would be treating him, like this.”

Kian stared at her, his fingers playing with hers. “Come here.” 

“This isn’t the time or the place for..” He sat up in one swift move and stood up leaving her side for a moment, only to click the door shut. 

“I don’t mean anything like that. We’re safe from someone coming in.” He sat beside her again. “Now please talk to me.” Jac looked at him, his eyes were soft and full of love for her. 

“We’re going to lose him and there’s nothing we can do about it Kian, and we’ve made a promise, he taught us that, and now we are not even going to be able to keep it and save him” She spoke and felt Kian’s hand patting on her knee softly. 

“We can’t save everyone.” He told her. “That’s something he taught us too.” Jac’s hand played with his absentmindedly, “Jac…” She turned to look at him. “Come on, lie down a minute. I can keep watch on the door if you want.” 

She hesitated on her response for a moment. “It’s locked, right?” 

Kian raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?” 

She sighed. “Come on then and hold me.” Kian smiled, obliging with a wide smile. He laid down first, and then Jac curled up beside him, his chest to her back, his arms around her, his face to her hair. 

“You know, this brings back memories…” 

“You best not be getting any ideas Madani, we’re not christening this office. At home it’s fine, but at work, I am not risking getting caught, no matter how locked that door is.” 

He laughed into her hair, kissing her neck softly. “Fine.” His ministrations were proving to be soothing as Jac’s eyes began to close. 

But as soon as she’d managed to doze off, there was a knock on the door and both Jac and Kian knew they had to get back to work. 

* * *

Jac had been looking for Kian at the end of her shift, but she quickly figured where he’d be. “Miss Naylor? I’d hate to be the one confusing people over the propper last name to use.” Mr. Haller said to her, Kian sat on a chair beside the bed. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t come and checked on you, we’ve got a surgical contract looming over our heads and…” 

“You don’t have to explain anything to me dear, I’ve lived and seen it all, remember?” He said, a weak smile playing on his lips behind the mask. 

“Odds might not be looking good for Darwin if I dare to admit.” Kian said. “So it’s touch and go.” 

“You two are clinical leads, are you not? Put those brilliant minds to work together and you’ll do wonders. I’ve nurtured those brains, I should know.”

Jac looked at Kian and nodded. “How are you feeling, sats look better since this morning, so my warning paid off.” 

Haller laughed, coughing. “We’re all better off listening to Jac Naylor, that I know too.” 

“You are right there Mr. Haller.” Kian felt his phone chime in his pocket. Christy, their nanny wanted to know if they’d be long. She’d worked with them full time for about two years now and she knew how unpredictable their schedules were, but Kian had forgotten to look at the time, it was almost 7:00 pm, the only time they had with their children if they had work during the week. 

“A greater duty is calling huh?” His teacher said. The man was in his 70’s and had barely any kind of a relationship with his children, being a doctor and a teacher later in life had made sure of that. His wife had passed away a few years back and the two sons that came and went during the day were there out of duty and yes love, but he had not been close to either of them. “You two go on, I’ll be fine with, Nicky is it? Caring for me. She said she best be because you’d know.” He winked at Jac. “Go, I’ll be here tomorrow.” 

Jac feared that would not be the case everytime they left. 

“I’ll go get changed.” Kian said, leaving Jac and Haller alone. 

“Miss Naylor? May I be blunt?” 

She nodded. “If you must, you have to at least call me Jac.” That made him smile. 

“You got a good one in that boy, even if it took sometime to see it back then.” Jac rolled her eyes a bit, moving to sit where Kian had just been. 

“It was him who was clueless, not me.” Jac told him. “I knew what I wanted, but it turned out to be something I had not expected.” 

“Him you mean?” 

“Yes. Him.” Jac admitted. “I just never expected to have someone love me as much as he does, even if half the time, he goes over his head to make me nuts.” 

Haller took a minute to respond. “Isn’t that what love is all about then?” 

They walked home hand in hand, it was the only time Jac allowed herself to be affectionate with Kian in public at work, after all, she had an image to sustain. “What are you thinking about?” He asked, rubbing her knuckles with the tip of his fingers. 

“Work. I just can’t keep Haller or that cardiology contract out of my head.” Jac told him. “I might give Max a call.” 

“I hear you, but there’s not a lot you can do on either of those matters right now, so why don’t we just switch off work for at least a few hours? We haven’t seen the kids all day.” 

“I’m not like you Kian, I love you, in spite of myself sometimes, but I can’t just switch off.” They had reached their street by now. 

“I know, but can you at least try, for me?” She smiled. “Just while we put the kids to bed and then you can vent on me about work all you want?” 

“Fine.” She said as he put on the combination for the main door and they climbed the elevator. 

And just as she promised, as soon as the door opened, Jac tried to focus on their children, she dismissed and thanked Christy for the day, thankfully she had managed for the boys to tidy up their rooms and get Emma into her Pajamas by the time they made it home. 

“It’s leftover night. again for the Madani family, so what’s everybody having?” Kian said, glancing at the fridge after they had said their hellos to the kids. 

“Leftovers?” JJ detached his eyes from the book he'd been working on. 

“Again?” Kayden echoed his brother's sentiment from his own spot at the kitchen table where they both were finishing their schoolwork. 

“Yes, again, it’s not Friday for us to go out, so it’s either that or my famous grilled cheese sandwiches.” Kian said, his head peeking out of the fridge. 

“Jac?” She was behind him. “Oh, so we have veggie pizza left from the other night. plus, we could sneak on a glass of wine later?” 

“Much later…” She whispered, then raised her voice. “Okay, if no one else is having dinner besides me, then we’re never getting rid of leftovers.” Jac called on the kids. Emma was the first to agree she wanted her Daddy to make her a sandwich and the boys settled for leftover pasta. 

That was one thing they could at least agree on. 

Kian decided to share the veggie pizza with Jac, then fell into a routine they all knew well, to have dinner together, check on the children’s schoolwork, then if there was time, they’d play a game or watch a show together. 

Today, they had settled for half an hour of a kid show as it was Emma’s turn to choose. 

By the time they had tucked all 3 kids into bed, Kian was finishing the dishes when Jac came into the kitchen, she stood beside him. Offering to dry, they worked like that for a couple minutes, until Kian spoke up...“You okay?” 

“McKendrick texted me, Haller’s sats are improving.” She said with a sigh, looking down at a glass and settling on the counter. 

“Hey, that’s great news.” He said, a half smile appearing on his face. “It’s good he’s got Nicky taking care of him.” Jac narrowed her eyes at him. “Come on, she’s proven her worth, hasn’t she?” 

“You just like her because she’s just like you, maybe a little worse.” He laughed. 

“Are you jealous Jac?” 

“Of McKendrick?” She huffed. “Not in a million years, no.” They had finished with the dishes and now Kian kept his end of the bargain, ten minutes later they were in bed, drinking a glass of wine. 

“Good huh?” 

“The best…” She mused, her head hitting the pillow behind her. 

“Thank you Marty.” Kian mused, taking another sip. “Hey, you know Haller wants to meet the kids?” 

“You’ve told him about our children?” She stared at him. 

“Why not?” He asked. “He takes a lot of credit on our relationship. I think we should at least give him that.” Jac rolled her eyes at him, drinking the last of her glass, a moment later they were both under the covers, Jac’s back against Kian’s chest, when he began to kiss her neck, she didn’t protest, they weren’t at work and she’d promised to switch off. She then turned to face him, his finger traced her lip tenderly and then he leaned in to kiss her, making it just what she needed.


	3. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Holby this week and new chapter. Hope you enjoy, also this is not beta'd so we apologize for any mistakes you may find. Also, Jac might seem a bit OC but remember she's been married to Kian for almost two decades and has 3 children so she's not the Ice Queen, not exactly.   
> Stay safe guys and may this bring you a bit of light in the darkness.

Kian was an easily distracted worker - but only during paperwork. He could be filling out paperwork for confirming staff rotas or signing off on discharged patients one minute, and then the next, he would be in a world of his own.

And today wasn’t an exception.

_ He was thinking back to how he got his start at Holby. Unlike Jac, Holby wasn’t his first hospital. Because Jac and Kian were in a relationship whilst they were at residency, the university refused to let them work together - it wasn’t for a matter of discrimination, but the fact that working and relationships were too risky to put together - especially in a hospital where you needed all of your concentration to be on your patients, not your love life. _

_ And it wasn’t an easy choice to decide who to send who where. Jac and Kian talked for days about who would go to Holby and who would go to St James - they weren’t the typical relationship couple who couldn’t stand to be apart from their partners for more than a few hours - but they did miss each other heavily when they were apart.  _

_ After talking about it, they agreed that Kian would go to St James, and Jac would go to Holby. It was only for a few months, and at most 5 days a week, so they would still, if their timetables synced up, have at least one day off together a week. _

_ Things went well, for the first couple of weeks. They handled being away from each other well. But the longer they were in residency, the harder it got. Jac was being bogged down by stress - you wouldn’t think it in her icy cool demeanour that she shows off nowadays - and all she wanted was for Kian to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay - but St James was an hour away - and Kian was on the late shift, meaning he wouldn’t get to see her until the following day, anyway. _

_ Once their residency time came to an end, their relationship had survived, and they had both been accepted into becoming certified working employees. However Kian was still expected to be working for St James. And he put up with it for a little while… _

Jac walked onto the ward and hastily slapped patient files on the nurses station, springing Kian from his daydream.

“Are we back in the room there?” she asked, holding in a laugh as he regained his composure. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“I was just thinking…”

“Oh well that’s a new one.”

“About how I started working at St James. And how you got me here,” he finished, ignoring her snide comment. “And I am still so, so, so, so grateful that you did that for me. Because there is nowhere else I would rather be working, than right here with you.”

“Euch. You’re too sickly sweet, Madani,” Jac said. “But you’re very welcome. I couldn’t stand the people you worked with at St James, especially the head of the hospital. He was a menace, didn’t understand staffing quotas or patient needs.”

“Yeah… he really wasn’t good, was he,” Kian responded. “I remember fighting with him every day about him taking surgeries off the table for electives - he kept trying to push cosmetic surgeries over serious surgeries. He didn’t like it. I also didn’t tell you this but he tried to fire me and have my doctoring licence rescinded. I told him I would take him to a court hearing for unlawful dismissal and he backed down. Every time I asked for a transfer here he would ‘lose my transfer request’ and that I would have to try again. After the third or fourth try, I lost hope.” 

Kian finished up a form and continued. “We continued to bump heads, but I didn’t want to tell you, because we were just starting out, going serious and steady. I didn’t want to lose what I had worked so hard for, you know? Anyway, one day, he calls me into his office, tells me there’s been budget cuts. Takes me off of the ward and puts me in minors. There were no budget cuts, we would have been filled in on it, and Holby would have gotten the cuts too. He hated my guts. But then you stepped in when I told you, remember?”

“Oh, I remember, all right. I only remember because I remember how you insisted we celebrate that night,” Jac said. She started placing the files into different stacks, for each of the staff members on the ward today - Nicky, Chloe, herself, and Kian. 

Kian grinned. “Hey, you took me up on the offer.” Jac simply glanced up at the offer and pushed the files into Kian’s arms. 

“And you know what? Sometimes, sometimes I regret it. But then I think how dull and lifeless my life would be without the technicolour dream that is Kian Madani. Now go, you’ve got patients, and we have targets to reach. Kian sighed, man he loved the woman, even if she had been bossing him around since they had been 17. 

By the end of their shift though, Kian seemed to be more on the downside, it had been a particularly hard night and he couldn’t wait to get home. Jac was covering the ward for a few more hours though and he got to go home first, specially when Nicky had told on him with Jac. 

“What’s up with you?” She asked, he was at his desk, finishing paperwork when she closed the door behind her. 

“Nothing. I’m fine.” 

“You are never too quick to reply Kian, come on, talk to me.” He turned the chair to face her. “Do you want me to use your own cards against you?”

“Who told you?” 

“Your bestie McKendrick, told me she’d been in theatre, That you lost Mrs. Mckinney.” Kian had been caring for the elderly woman for weeks, he’d done a valve replacement on her a few months back and she had had been rushed to Holby recently, but they lost her on the table and he seemed to be affecting him more than he thought. “Her family is just flying in and I need to talk to them tomorrow first thing.” He continued, his hand to his now longer dark curls, which Jac had insisted he should get rid of. It was untamable like it was for JJ and Kayden. “How’s Haller?” 

“Vitals seem to be improving. He’s looking better than he did when he first came in.” He gave her a small smile. “I was actually thinking that maybe, allowing Haller to meet the children, wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” She then walked closer to him, and he pulled her by the waist gently so that he was standing between his legs. She didn’t refuse because she knew it was probably something he needed after the loss he’d had. 

“You’re just complying because I lost my patient?” 

Jac bit her lip. “Maybe a little, but if it helps, why do you care? And he’s asked me again when he can meet them, so it’s a good time as any.” He smiled again, his dimples making an appearance even if they were faint. “Go home, you need to rest. Do you want me to be there tomorrow?” 

“Nah, Nicky was on the case with me, I’ll be fine.” He said. 

“Fine, hey Kian?” 

“Yeah?” 

“We can’t save everyone, you said it yourself.” 

“No, yeah I know.” He said, he moving a strand of hair from her face tenderly and she brushed his cheek, getting paged then. “I need to go. Will you be okay?” 

“Not right now, but I will be. See you at home?” 

She then moved to kiss him softly. Nothing else needed to be said. 

* * *

By the time he’d made it home, he’d missed dinner but just in time to dismiss poor Christy, who honestly made great money because he and Jac usually worked very late during weekdays. She’d told him the children were in bed, she didn’t trust they were asleep so he could probably spend a few moments with them. 

Emma was out like a light so he just opened her door slightly and moved to her side gently to kiss her forehead. 

He found a dim light in the boy’s room though, JJ was a reader and Kayden liked to play a bit with his lego blocks before bed. He knocked on the door softly. “Hey guys.” 

“Oh hi Dad, Mom’s working late?” 

“Yeah, she’s more of the boss than I am so she’s got to make sure she has everything done before she leaves.” Kian joked, sitting on Kayden’s empty bed. “Hey listen I wanted to, uh, talk to you about something.” The boys stood in front of him. One shorter than the other but equally worried looks on their faces. 

But before he could tell them about meeting Haller, they asked him if something was wrong and he confessed to losing his patient without going into much detail, because his kids could read him just like that. 

“But you did your best didn’t you? And her family knows that…” JJ said in a tone that made Kian think of Jac. 

“I did, but here’s the thing…” he was now sitting in between both boys, Kayden moved to his lap, his little boy who wasn’t so little anymore brought him such comfort with a single gesture, both of them did. “No matter how many times I’ve had to say that to people, it doesn’t get any easier.” JJ lowered his head making Kian regret his words at once. He touched his chin softly. 

“But hey, no I don’t want you to worry about that alright? I feel so much better now that I’ve talked to you about it.” 

“You sure?” JJ asked, because, he was his kid after all. 

“I am buddy, yeah, I promise okay?” 

JJ nodded but wasn’t too convinced. “But uh, I actually wanted to know how you would would feel about meeting Mr. Haller? He’s one of the people that actually helped me and your Mom get together and he really wants to meet you.” 

“Is he at the hospital?” Kayden asked. “Because he’s sick?” 

“Yeah he is.” Kian said softly. 

“Are you going to fix him?” 

“We’re trying to make him better buddy.” 

“Shouldn’t the two be in bed?” Came Jac’s voice behind them. Neither had heard come in. They tucked the kids in for the night. Kian promising to let them know more of Mr. Haller in the morning. 

* * *

“You’ve told them about your patient? I thought we agreed to shut off work at home.” Jac said as they headed to the kitchen. He grabbed on a two plates and leftovers Christy had made that night as Kian heard Jac go on him about involving the boys. 

“They knew something was wrong and they asked me about it okay? I didn’t let them know any details. I just told them she’d passed.” He said collapsing on the kitchen chair and moving his fork around his plate. “They are aware of more than you think Jac.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.” She finally said, sitting across from him. “I just want to keep them away from all of the things we have to deal with at work for as much as I can,” 

“I know.” Kian’s tone softened. “Me too, but they’re not going to stay little kids forever as much as it pains for me to say it and selfishly, it felt good for them to tell me they knew I’d done my best.” To Jac, he seemed even more down than before, maybe because she had reacted badly to him being honest? She didn’t seem to be able to win today no matter how hard she tried. 

They ate their dinner in silence, which that rarely happened because Kian would always try and make conversation but not tonight.

Tonight he was at a loss and it make Jac so uneasy. He was usually the one keeping her up when she needed him and right now, she didn’t know how to make things better. 

Once they were getting ready for bed though Kian said he was going to take a shower and Jac changed without much protest, although she wanted to yell at him to talk to her because the silence was driving her mad. 

It took her a few moments to muster the courage though, taking a deep breath she opened the shower door and the steam binded her a bit as she searched for Kian. He hadn’t reacted until he felt cold whisk behind him, then he felt his wife’s arms around his waist. Clothed and all. Kian’s muscles relaxed under her touch as she kissed his shoulder. “I’m sorry I’m not as good as you are at this, but I love you, I need you to know that and I’m here alright?” 

“ I know.” Kian closed his eyes as he felt her shiver, he turned around to look at her and smiled. “I don’t need more than this Jac. I’ve never had.” He kissed her softly and she deepened the kiss. “And I love you too.” 

But once they were in bed, Jac knew he was exhausted and the water had seemed to have done the trick to relax him so he fell into slumber, but somehow she couldn’t stop thinking of just what was ahead of him the next day and knew then exactly it was just the perfect time to grant him that the children met Haller, and if she was being true to herself, she was sort of looking forward to it too. 


End file.
